Hooks, Lines and Sequels

 

 

The dictionary definitions of “hook” are paragraphs long, but the closest one to the literary meaning of the term is “a means of attracting interest or attention; an enticement.” Much has been written about hooks in books, or “writing to hook the reader.” Some writing teachers select opening lines from novels that they describe as excellent hooks, and give them to students as examples of how to entice a person into reading a book.

I’ve never been hooked by an opening line in any book, including those highly recommended Golden Oldies, and I certainly don’t find them enticing today. Consider “Call me Ishmael,” the first line of Moby Dick, which appears on nearly every “hook” list. Yawn. Mind you, I didn’t like the book either. Why did I read it? It was assigned; I had to. I wouldn’t remember the first line if so many writing teachers hadn’t told me it was wonderful.

Perhaps some opening lines become memorable because we enjoyed the book, not because the line was so fabulous. Think about “Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again.” My response to that line was, and is, “Who cares? I’m not interested in anyone’s dreams.” (I skip dreams tucked into novels, even when I like the novel and its author.) But I enjoyed Rebecca; and among the books on my bedside table is Sally Beauman’s Rebecca’s Tale, which takes place twenty years after Rebecca’s death. I bought this online, sight unseen, without having read a review of it. But when it arrived,

 

 
 

I began to have second thoughts; it’s 528 pages long, and the back cover claims that “Rebecca’s tale is just beginning.” Hmm. I may already know enough about Rebecca. I decided to follow the writing teachers’ tips, and check the first line to see if it “hooked” me. Uh, oh. The first line: “Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again.” Not only tedious, but repetitive. I put Rebecca’s Tale down. Maybe another day, but maybe not.

As I thought more about “hooks,” I realized I never look at the opening line before I buy a book, or before I check it out of the library. I’m always searching for an interesting plot, and to find the kind of books I like, I buy the latest work by an author I’ve read and enjoyed, or get a recommendation from a friend, or read a review by someone I respect, or read the text on the book jacket.

But I’m a pushover for what I think is the greatest possible hook: a sequel or a continuation of a book I know and love. I own about fifty continuations, sequels, and other fiction relating to Jane Austen’s novels. I acquired them because I adore the original novels, and long to know what happened next, and more about Austen’s characters. In fact, I buy just about any sequel or book related in some way to a novel I enjoyed. That’s how I happened to buy Rebecca’s Tale.

Another type of related book—not a sequel, but equally hooking—is the book that develops a minor character in an old favorite—like Jane Fairfax in Emma—into a major character with a plot of her own. Another favorite type of related book is a retelling of an old favorite from another character’s point of view. I saw and enjoyed Wicked, the wonderful Oz-related musical based on Gregory Maguire’s book, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. After I saw it, I bought and read the book (another way of being hooked—I see the show or the film, and like it so much I buy the book). I didn’t remember the opening line, but I looked at it today, and it’s a good one—“A mile above Oz, the Witch balanced on the wind’s forward edge, as if she were a green fleck of the land itself, flung up and sent wheeling away by the turbulent air.” But it didn’t entice me into reading the book—I’d already read it, and hadn’t even noticed the first line. (I might have noticed if I thought it bad). I recently bought Wicked’s sequel, Son of a Witch. I’m sure I’ll read it, too, and I don’t care what the first line is.

On October 5, Geraldine McCaughrean will publish a sequel to Peter Pan, entitled Peter Pan in Scarlet. In this case, a sequel to Peter Pan in itself is a hook, but so is the title. I think a good title can be a great hook. (Someday I’m going to write a long list of books I’d buy on title alone: The Secret Garden Revisited; More Adventures With the Little White Horse; Harry Potter’s Birth and Babyhood; and Jane Marple at Twenty: Her First Investigation, just to mention a few.)

I can picture Peter, the green-clad elfin boy I know so well, costumed in vivid red, and I want to know why he’s dressed that way. I’m thrilled that those who chose McCaughrean to write the official sequel stipulated that the book must feature all my friends—Peter, Wendy, Tinkerbell, the Darlings and the hookiest of hooks, Captain Hook. I’ll buy the book without a prior assessment of the opening line.

Mind you, some sequels are disappointing. I loved Gone With The Wind, although I wasn’t ‘hooked’ by its opening line: “Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.” Boring. I read Gone With The Wind after I saw the film because it was a great love story. I longed to know what became of all the characters, and rushed out to buy Scarlett, Alexandra Ripley’s sequel to Gone With The Wind. I didn’t like it. But I keep buying sequels.

I agree with the writing teachers that the “essence” or “theme” or “premise” of a book should be brought to the attention of the reader early. I like to see that theme or premise at least suggested in the title; and see it reinforced somewhere in the first 50 pages. I hope that the title of my mystery novel Greed, Masks and Murder expresses the theme, but I also have a character emphasize it, saying: “I don’t like what’s happening in the print world: Heyward Bain comes to town, and starts throwing money around, and print price records soar. I’m afraid all that money is going to open Pandora’s box, and let greed out to ruin everything.”

As for making the first sentence all important, and expect it to hook the reader—I don’t think so. But editors and agents insist that more and more of the action take place in the first 25-50 pages of a book, and in response, some novelists manage to hook the reader in a prologue. A prologue is used frequently these days, often to present the reader with a corpse before the action begins, so that the true business of the book—the solving of the mystery of who did it and why—can move ahead.

Occasionally I run across a very unusual hook, one worth bringing to the attention of others. Consider the preface to Dead Man’s Chest: The Sequel to Treasure Island by Roger L. Johnson. With the author’s permission, I’ve printed it below:

Preface

They say that the salt content of seawater is identical to that contained in our blood. Maybe that explains why so many of us are drawn to the sea and the wonderful stories it has spawned over the centuries. One of those stories fascinated most of us as children and still holds a special place in our hearts. If you share my love of adventure, then perhaps, like me, you've wondered after that classic threesome; the lice-infested maroon, Ben Gunn, the courageous Bristol lad, Jim Hawkins, and that most famous of all pirates, the softhearted cutthroat, Long John Silver. Did they really exist, and if so, what happened to them after their legendary eighteenth century adventure? I believe I found the answer to those questions during the summer of 1982, when I chanced upon the hand-written transcript of a 1777 Royal Navy Admiralty investigation that dealt with the attack and near-sinking of H.M.S King James, a fourth-rate British man-of-war near Andros Island in the Bahamas. There were dozens of similar investigations made by the Royal Navy, but none with the significance of the questioning of Lieutenant Desmond R. Roberts.

I was in London that summer to attend a NATO-sponsored leadership symposium for command-grade military officers. Since I had arrived early at Whitehall, three days before the first session, I had the entire weekend to collect gifts and keepsakes for my wife and three children. My eldest son, Stephen, had asked that I do some research for a term paper he was writing, so a few minutes before three in the afternoon, on Friday, I signed into the search room of the House of Lords Record Office in the southern section of old London.

Stephen was writing a term paper on relations between the United States and England following World War I, and had become frustrated at the lack of information contained in our local libraries. My search for the raw material he needed began with Parliamentary proceedings of December 1918: the month following the allied and central powers signing of the armistice.

The transcript of Lieutenant Roberts' testimony measured seventy pages and was misfiled between the February and March, 1919 Parliamentary records. The cover page was embossed with the Royal Navy seal and dated 5 April 1777. The knot in the thin blue ribbon which bound the neat stack of parchment was crushed in such a way that it was very probable that the transcript had not been disturbed since its writing. Naturally I became curious, but it wasn't until the fifth page that I began to realize what I had discovered. In his defense, Lieutenant Roberts had requested that a seaman's ballad be entered into evidence. The name of the song was "Fifteen Men on the Dead Man's Chest."

In the two hours available to me before the search room closed, I managed to read the entire document and make notes of the major events it described. The chief witness in the case was one Desmond R. Roberts, a Lieutenant and mid-grade officer on the ill-fated man-of-war H.M.S. King James. Although many of his fellow crew members survived the attack, Lieutenant Roberts was the only man able to identify the pirate captain who had attacked his warship.

What was most amazing about the document was that in a short section near the beginning, Lieutenant Roberts described a series of events which matched in nearly every detail, a pirate story I had read as a child. The transcript also provided a concise record of a great American naval hero's movements during a hitherto unknown twenty months of his life, and explained how he overcame several tremendous obstacles to obtain one of the very first Colonial Navy commissions. The man was John Paul Jones; a Scotsman and fugitive from King George III.

After comparing the dates, places and events Lieutenant Roberts had described, I became convinced that he was the very Jim Hawkins of Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, Treasure Island. This conclusion, however, was not based entirely upon the transcript. In my subsequent research, I discovered that retired Commander Desmond R. Roberts had married one Christiana Osbourne of Edinburgh, Scotland, the same town where Frances Osbourne was born nearly a hundred years later. In 1880, while Robert Louis Stevenson was in San Francisco, California, he met and married Frances. It was shortly after their marriage that he began writing his novel, Treasure Island.

As I checked out of the search room that Friday evening, I told the Clerk of the Records, a Mister Cobb, about the misfiled transcript and asked if I might borrow it for the weekend, promising to return it the following Monday after my first NATO session. He said that if it were up to him, he would be glad to oblige, but “…the '67 Public Records Act only allows for the reading of these older documents, not their removal or copying." He did, however, agree to hold the transcript aside for me. When I returned Monday afternoon, there was only a note from the clerk informing me that the transcript “…had been collected by two gentlemen from the Admiralty."

I can only speculate as to why the transcript was taken. It may have been the Royal Navy's desire to keep a certain questionable incident aboard the King James from becoming public. According to Lieutenant Roberts' testimony, two weeks prior to the attack on his ship, one of the midshipmen lost his life during some horseplay with several of his mates. The ship's Captain singled out two of the Ensigns who had been hazing the cadet and accused them of murder. After a quicker than-normal court martial, they were hanged. Not only did this action violate Admiralty Law, but there was compelling evidence in Lieutenant Robert's testimony that the Captain had a personal vendetta against the two along with several of the other officers.

I have not seen the transcript since that Friday afternoon in London, and my letters of inquiry continue to elicit the same response. “The document you cite in your letter of 29 January 1983 is not available at this office, nor is there any record of it having been held by the Royal Navy at any time."

Unless I have been duped by a cleverly conceived hoax -- and I sincerely doubt that I have -- I present to you what I believe is the entire story of Long John Silver, and the only true account of John Paul Jones' movements during that missing twenty months; and this from the Royal Navy Lieutenant who walked the deck of the Scotsman's treasure ship and learned the tale from three of the pirates who manned it during it's final voyage.

I have included from memory a portion of the Admiralty transcript as my first and last chapters. Except for the historical persons involved, none of Mister Stevenson's characters were named in the transcript. I have, of course, changed their names as appropriate in my story so that they coincide with the characters in his novel, Treasure Island.

It is a complicated story of piracy, politics, greed, and lost love; and of how one man was able to manipulate the lives of hundreds of patriots and pirates in his attempt to attain a King's ransom in buried treasure. You may notice, as I did, that Lieutenant Roberts' testimony contains a great deal of coincidence. This disturbed me until I realized that the world was much smaller back in 1775, just prior to the American Revolution. Merchants knew every other merchant of stature, just as statesmen and sea captains knew their important counterparts. Stories of the famous and infamous spread throughout the world as quickly as the winds push a brigantine to a far shore or a horse gallops across the countryside.

As you set your sails and cast off your last line for this complicated armchair adventure, my hope is that you sail before fair winds and following seas. If I have stretched or compressed the truth slightly, I beg your indulgence. I was only in possession of the transcript for a very short time. And besides, without a certain degree of journalistic elasticity, my story would simply be a dry expansion of Desmond Robert's testimony.

To order a signed copy of Roger L. Johnson’s Dead Man’s Chest: The Sequel to Treasure Island, email the author at hiouchi@centurytel.net.